Walking Continues

Some days I feel like myself.  Other days all I can think about is the old life that is gone.  ~ Hana Shank  (writing in The Atlantic  about recovery after being hit by a truck). Yes. I was reading this horrible story and then hit these two lines.  Some days I feel like myself. Other days all I can think about is the old life that is gone. Even on days I "feel like myself," I often wonder,   "who do I want to be for the remaining years of my life." Nope, not hit by a truck, but sometimes it feels like it. After almost 4 years I still seem to wake up and, if there is nothing on my schedule, think "so what do I not want to do today."  And, it seems my reply to that question is often "I don't fucking care."   I don't really care that the clean dishes are waiting in the dishwasher for me. (Clean for 2 days, but I'm not interested in clearing the sink of the new dirties, so whatever.) I don't care that I have a mound of dirty laundry w

In the spring,  at the end of the day,  you should smell like dirt. ~ Margaret Atwood Tools - I don't think I took my gloves off until later. The yuccas I ventured out to do my last bit of work in the Senior Center Garden today. It seems to me that this is the third year of my work in this garden. And now, as my time is filled with other things and I cannot commit to weeding, digging, pruning, mulching, and sweating in even one extra garden, I'm handing it off to (hopefully) a committee of people who will take ownership, plan, and keep the beds in better order than I have. Right now there are large Texas Sages, yellow trailing lantana, blue salvia, and cannas (not my choice). I tried to choose easy (minimal work), drought tolerant and temperature hardy plants. It's been an overall success. Seriously, the plants have grown almost too well and required more pruning than I might have hoped.* But they have graced the place with color from early spring though the fist hard freez